Will Beckett and Huw Gott - Hawksmoor

Rare Form #2 – How are you so handsome but so bald?

I’m glad you asked, person-who-is-in-no-way-a-friend-taking-the-piss.  I think the secret is steak, you see it’s a scientific fact that a meat-heavy diet releases natural hormones in male restaurateurs that makes them slightly more attractive.  If my post-graduate degree in, err, science serves me well I remember it being something to do with pheromones in the top of the head.  Over literally decades of evolution many of these meaty male restaurateurs’ heads have given up growing hair in favour of releasing the pheromones that make them so handsome.

We’ve avoided talking about it in the past of course, because I (Will) have obviously gone all the way, becoming extremely handsome and extremely bald at the same time, whereas Huw (my best mate and business partner) has more hair and is not quite as handsome.  We can’t tell if it’s by choice or just bad luck.

If you’re interested in the wider societal phenomenon then it’s worth looking at other meaty male restaurateurs.  Scott Collins from MeatLiquor sells burgers, not steak, and as a result is still quite hairy on his face and less handsome than me.  The CEO of Gaucho is also bald and devastatingly handsome, but as his meat is Argentinian instead of British we haven’t been able to look him directly in the eye for quite some time now.  The ex-Managing Director of Goodman, Dave Strauss, also lost all his hair and for a moment became so handsome that he eventually had to leave London for a more peaceful life on the coast working with seafood; he has subsequently come back down to being merely an 8 out of 10 and I believe is considering buying a wig.

So I think the lesson is clear – eat steak, preferably at Hawksmoor, and you too could be even more attractive and less hirsute than you are now.

Will Beckett – Co-Founder